Actually, No They Don't All Speak English

As I bemoaned my lack of German language skills to friends and family in the days proceeding my very recent trip, one after another they all sought to reassure me with, "but everyone speaks English these days."

I'm back from my trip to tell you, no they don't!

Especially in the smaller towns; especially the older folks; and especially the signage! Now, I'm not judging them at all. After all, I'm the visitor; why should I expect them to accommodate me because I came unprepared? And how pretentious are we Americans to believe "everyone speaks English"?

It really was my own fault for being so ill prepared. I have an aptitude for languages; I had 3 months to learn some rudimentary German. And I can sit here all day and make excuses about how busy I've been. But it would all be baloney. The truth is, I chose to believe "they all speak English" like any good American believes.

In Germany, faced with the reality that not everyone does, in fact, speak my language, I fell back on plan B. Be polite. Be unerringly humble in my communication attempts. Be correctly embarrassed. I kicked my own butt for being lazy and apathetic. I asked meekly, "Sprechen sie Englisch?" When I was answered, "Nein!" I gingerly attempted to communicate my need with some of my very basic words. If I was unsuccessful, I tried again. It was, indeed, an exercise in humility for me. As a writer, I pride myself on my ability to communicate. When faced with the inability to read a menu, decipher drug store lingo, or discern whether I needed to push or pull to open a door, I was truly humbled. I had become, in fact, illiterate.

And I had done it to myself.

No, the world does not revolve around me. "They" don't all speak English. But they were unfailingly polite to this English-speaker who mangled their native tongue.

Next time, I'll be better prepared. I promise!

Sometimes, It All Comes Together

As a photographer, I love and adore digital technology!! Some of it....

I purchased some huge memory cards, so I can snap away heedlessly.... with little concern for space or cost. And snap away, I do. My son recently noticed this and asked, "But how do you know what to take a picture of? And why do you take so many?" Without much thought, I answered, "I take a picture of anything that catches my attention- the light in the leaves, the shadow of a branch, the sky changing color... and sometimes I don't capture what I want, but I keep snapping away because you don't really know what you've got 'til you see it on your monitor."

So, I may take 200 pictures on any given walk thru the park. And, really, I'm happy if 10% turn out worth keeping. I don't spend a lot of time editing. I may crop a shot; I may add some fill light to lighten a face or lessen a shadow; I fairly often convert to black and white. Once in a great while, I'll get all fancy and try to blur some edges or such.... But I believe great photos happen when they're snapped, not in the editing process hours, days, weeks, heck- years later.

I really hate looking at a photo in a magazine and thinking, "WOW!" only to see it's been photoshopped all to heck. Oh come on, that's just cheating.... So if you possess great technical skills (with editing software), what does that make you? A great technician, not an artist. I want to see what you saw in that moment when you clicked your shutter.

And once in a long while, it all comes together. You upload; 100 pictures cross your monitor; you keep a few, you delete a lot. And one pops up and you "woo-hoo" out loud!! You sit back for a moment and think, "yeah. THAT's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"

Planning a Journey

I have an upcoming journey- to Dusseldorf. I have never had such difficulty preparing for a trip! Go Google "Dusseldorf." Go ahead; open up Google in a new tab and search. I'll be here when you're done....

Back already? See what I mean?? Not much to go on, huh? Clearly, this is a city just waiting for a great travelogue! Enter, me, LOL. Here I come- notebook and camera in hand.

My hopes: good weather, great photo ops, warm people, fine art, and wonderful German wine.

My fears: bad weather, closed galleries, blisters on my feet from shoes I don't often wear, impatience with my lack of language skills, and horrible exchange rates.

My German language skills consist of a few numbers (can not remember 4 for the life of me), good morning, good day, please, thank you, yes, no, and pork. I don't know how to ask for the ladies' loo; I don't know how to ask directions; I don't know how to order coffee. I feel so unprepared! The only other time I've ever been somewhere totally unprepared linguistically was when I visited Turkey. But there, we stayed with friends who helped us out immensely! In Germany, I am on my own. And a little scared.

And packing? Ah, yes. Well, I'm traveling with my hubby. And when he travels, he only takes a carry-on bag. He checks nothing, if he can help it. So, I'm limited to my 1 carry-on suitcase, my briefcase and purse. And camera. Actually, I think that puts me over my limit. Hmmm.... Well, maybe this requires rethinking.

Off to rethink- packing and other things. And maybe I'll learn how to ask for the toilet. And coffee. After all, those are the most important things, right?

Will I Ever Be Free?

... to speak my mind?

I was born and raised in the south. Part of that upbringing included the oft-quoted, "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' 'tall..."

I am now a grown woman. I have raised children of my own to adulthood. I have outlived my grandparents and my parents. I AM the matriarch of my family. And yet, I still can not speak my mind if I think it's rude.

I hesitate to bring up controversial subjects. I wiggle out of difficult questions. I dodge verbal bullets with my bulletproof southern belle vestments.

And I am so thankful that we don't walk around with thought bubbles above our heads.

But every now and then, I would love to be able to speak my mind. I would love to say, "what the heck do you think you're doing?" Or, "you're a whack job!!" Or even, "that was incredibly rude..." in response to someone else's wounding words.

I don't. I pull my southern gentility around me like a cloak, I take a deep breath, and I swallow the words that have formed on my tongue. Because, if I can't say something nice, I don't say anything at all.

Enough is Enough

Except when it isn't.

Many women feel they aren't "enough" for someone. Someone being her boyfriend, her husband, her kids, her friends, her family.

Why are we so hard on ourselves?? Why isn't it ever enough, in quantity or quality?

In this society, we hear so much about people, especially women, having surgery to fix what they feel isn't pretty enough, thin enough, big enough, young enough or firm enough. Hey people!! Life happens!! Some of us are fat! Some of us are old! So who gets to decide what's "enough"?

Most of us are seeking perfection. But perfection, my friend, exists only in God. And God created us in His image.... so it follows that we are perfect, as we are, because He created us so.

Therefore, I am enough.

And so are you.

Namaste.

The World IS Too Much With Us

Who said, "the world is too much with us?"

Google it, and you'll find it was William Wordsworth in 1807. He said:
"The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon..."

In 1807, he said, "getting and spending, we lay waste our powers." What would Will say now???

I must say I try very hard to see what is in nature, and not to give my heart away to those things we get and spend for, but the world around us makes it very difficult most times.

As I sat outside this morning, watching the night turn to day, I was preoccupied with thoughts of things: the van that's acting up, what to make for dinner tonight, what to pack for my upcoming trip, the plate I fried in the microwave last night, the TV we're waiting on.... And now, I can barely remember the color of the sky as the sunlight crept over the horizon, or the clouds skittering across the lightening sky. The world is too much with me.

But Do I Want to Live Without TV?

During the move from Texas to Ohio, we've not had a TV in Ohio. The longest I've been without TV is about 3 weeks, during the rerun season. So, I "can" live without TV. But do I "want" to?

Some friends have been discussing, lately, the ugliness that is on television... the lying, cheating, back-stabbing characters of low morale. Granted. But sometimes, I need an escape. And I do love to read, and often escape into a good book. But, again, sometimes, a TV escape is in order, in my humble opinion.

I like being able to DVR my shows and watch them at my own convenience, and skip right thru the tedious, obnoxious commercials. I can watch 90 minutes' worth of Dancing With the Stars in less than 30 minutes if I fast forward thru all the extraneous hoopla and blah-blah. I watch it for the dancing, not the talking!

And I love me some history channel. LOL. After all, I am a self-professed history nerd. And, wait!! Let's not forget travel channel!!! Oh, the joys of traveling from my sofa....

Yep, I'm thinking I "can" live without TV, but I don't want to!! Off to order my new TV....

Star Gazing

I did a little star gazing this morning.

I was up way too early because it is the month of Ramadan, and I was up with hubby and son to have breakfast before sunrise....

Then, I pulled a throw around my nightie and headed out to the deck to watch the day break. And was surprised to see this beautiful formation of celestial bodies. At the time, I wasn't sure what it was, except a lovely sight for sleepy eyes.

The crescent moon hung half way between the horizon and overhead. Below her was a brilliant bright body. Now, I know it was Venus. And off to the left of Venus was a star, singularly bright in itself, tho paling to Venus' brilliance. It was Regulus. Who knew?

I sat and watched as the moon moved up, out of my line of sight; Regulus faded into the growing morning light; Venus grew dimmer and dimmer.

As the horizon grew from dark blue to lighter blue then on to palest pink, the heavenly night show came to an end. And day began.

For more info: http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20071005/sc_space/seeacelestialsummitmeeting

Laying Over

Sometimes you have to "lay over" during a journey.

Laying over.... waiting for the next phase to begin. Yep, that's me right now, laying over.

The house in Texas is for sale. With almost all my worldly goods still there or in the storage unit, also in Texas.

But I'm in Ohio. In my new "nest".... but without all my stuff to make it home. I call it my nest because it's smaller than the house I'm leaving in Texas. And that's perfectly OK, except for the consideration of what doesn't make the move. But that's another day, OK??

So, here I am. Waiting. Waiting for my stuff. Waiting for a car. Did I mention that I'm without wheels, here in Ohio? Hubby takes 1 vehicle to work, son takes the other one to school. I'm housebound, more or less. So, I wait for someone to come home, so I can go somewhere.... anywhere.

Yep, laying over. Waiting for the next phase to start....