Will I Ever Be Free?

... to speak my mind?

I was born and raised in the south. Part of that upbringing included the oft-quoted, "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' 'tall..."

I am now a grown woman. I have raised children of my own to adulthood. I have outlived my grandparents and my parents. I AM the matriarch of my family. And yet, I still can not speak my mind if I think it's rude.

I hesitate to bring up controversial subjects. I wiggle out of difficult questions. I dodge verbal bullets with my bulletproof southern belle vestments.

And I am so thankful that we don't walk around with thought bubbles above our heads.

But every now and then, I would love to be able to speak my mind. I would love to say, "what the heck do you think you're doing?" Or, "you're a whack job!!" Or even, "that was incredibly rude..." in response to someone else's wounding words.

I don't. I pull my southern gentility around me like a cloak, I take a deep breath, and I swallow the words that have formed on my tongue. Because, if I can't say something nice, I don't say anything at all.