Last night we had our 4 week weigh in. We've had our food plans for 4 weeks now....
I wasn't going to look; I thought I didn't want to know. I knew I had lost some inches, because t-shirts are getting looser, pants are getting looser, bras are getting looser... but I'm clearly a long way from where I need to be, so I figured "it doesn't matter what the number is."
Well, I had a baaaaad day yesterday. Not bad from the standpoint of my plan; bad as in frustrating, tiring, stressful, etc. for other reasons. And I needed some good news.
So, I looked.
I'm down 10 pounds!!! I'll take it!!!
Ten pounds is but a drop in the bucket, but as the proverb says:
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Win a print!
I'm having a caption contest!! See the goat up there ^ ?
go to my facebook page and give it a caption....
winner gets their choice of a 5x7 or 8x10 print from my portfolio!
not my "friend?" leave a comment here with your facebook contact and i'll find you and "friend" you, so you can leave your caption.
winner will be voted on, via facebook.
go to my facebook page and give it a caption....
winner gets their choice of a 5x7 or 8x10 print from my portfolio!
not my "friend?" leave a comment here with your facebook contact and i'll find you and "friend" you, so you can leave your caption.
winner will be voted on, via facebook.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wrong, Wrong, Wrong
I was wrong.
DWTS.... I was so wrong!
But it's all good. I think Gilles is the better dancer, but I think Shawn had legions of little gymnasts voting for her, and that's okay by me. Gilles was gracious in defeat, and altho I don't dislike Melissa, I just didn't want her to beat him. So, Shawn? It's all good.
DWTS.... I was so wrong!
But it's all good. I think Gilles is the better dancer, but I think Shawn had legions of little gymnasts voting for her, and that's okay by me. Gilles was gracious in defeat, and altho I don't dislike Melissa, I just didn't want her to beat him. So, Shawn? It's all good.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Listening to my body
Part of my "new" journey is learning to listen to my body.
I had a headstart on this thanks to my yoga practice. In yoga, I've learned to listen to my body's signals that I've gone far enough in a pose, or when it's willing to go farther. I listen for the signals to back off, or to push on, and I've learned not to question those. Not listening often results in injury. And the first rule of yoga is ahimsa- do no harm; cause no pain- to yourself, nor to anyone or anything else.
So, LeeAnn is teaching me to listen to my body's hunger signals. I'm learning how to differentiate between true physical hunger (the need for fuel) and all that other stuff that I used to feed- boredom, frustration, anger, loneliness, disappointment or fear. I'm getting pretty good at it, after 5-6 weeks, finally. In fact, I'm beginning to hear things as subtle as "I need protein" or "I need carbs" sometimes instead of just "I need food."
The harder part of this equation for me is listening to my body in regards to exercise. I would actually like to be working out 6 days/week. But I can't. My post-meniscus-repair knee just isn't 100% yet, and if I work out too many consecutive days, I'm in pain. And that's really frustrating for me. And a few times, I've ignored my knee and pushed on anyway, resulting in more pain. Not ahimsa. So, for now, I'm working out 4 days/week- 2 lifting and intervals, 2 long cardio days. Hopefully, as my weight drops and my knee heals, I'll be able to add in a couple more days of cardio. Until then, however, I'll try to remember ahimsa, and give my body the rest it needs to recover and heal.
It's kinda like asking my mind to grant my body a small measure of grace.
I had a headstart on this thanks to my yoga practice. In yoga, I've learned to listen to my body's signals that I've gone far enough in a pose, or when it's willing to go farther. I listen for the signals to back off, or to push on, and I've learned not to question those. Not listening often results in injury. And the first rule of yoga is ahimsa- do no harm; cause no pain- to yourself, nor to anyone or anything else.
So, LeeAnn is teaching me to listen to my body's hunger signals. I'm learning how to differentiate between true physical hunger (the need for fuel) and all that other stuff that I used to feed- boredom, frustration, anger, loneliness, disappointment or fear. I'm getting pretty good at it, after 5-6 weeks, finally. In fact, I'm beginning to hear things as subtle as "I need protein" or "I need carbs" sometimes instead of just "I need food."
The harder part of this equation for me is listening to my body in regards to exercise. I would actually like to be working out 6 days/week. But I can't. My post-meniscus-repair knee just isn't 100% yet, and if I work out too many consecutive days, I'm in pain. And that's really frustrating for me. And a few times, I've ignored my knee and pushed on anyway, resulting in more pain. Not ahimsa. So, for now, I'm working out 4 days/week- 2 lifting and intervals, 2 long cardio days. Hopefully, as my weight drops and my knee heals, I'll be able to add in a couple more days of cardio. Until then, however, I'll try to remember ahimsa, and give my body the rest it needs to recover and heal.
It's kinda like asking my mind to grant my body a small measure of grace.
Monday, May 18, 2009
The New Old Journey I'm On
I've battled weight my whole life. When I was 5, I was a "normal" sized little girl. My dad was leaving for Vietnam, and we went to visit his family in Wisconsin. When we returned to North Carolina 2 weeks later, I was a chubby little girl.
My mom used to tell the story; she said I went from a size 5 to a size 6X in 2 weeks. My dad left for Vietnam and my mom and I went to her hometown to live. There, I learned to numb myself with food. The family decided (with no input from me that I recall) that I must be sad, and they fed me. I WAS sad. But I do not recall asking for loaves of white bread to be thrust in my hands. I do recall watching TV, sitting on the couch, with a loaf of bread in my hands.
I went from chubby little girl to chubby teen.... to obese adult.
I've either dieted or binged since I was 5. I have tried sooooo many diets. I say, "I've tried them all!" I actually worked at 2 of the well-known weight loss places during a brief "almost" phase. I was "almost" at that ideal, magical number... And clearly, "diets" don't work b/c here I am. Obese, again.
And yes, I said "again," not "still." After I got married, I lost 100 pounds. Then, I got pregnant with my first son. And gained about 70 pounds during my pregnancy. I gave birth to a 5 pound child. Seriously.
And lost about 60 of that.... and got pregnant, again. LOL That time, I gained about 55 pounds to give birth to a 7 pound baby. That baby is now 22 years old, and I recently hit my all time high weight. Needless to say, I never lost all that baby weight.
So, the journey began again. This time, I'm working with a nutritionist and a trainer, with a group support system, in a 12-week wellness program. I call it my 12-step program b/c I believe my food issues are an addiction which I have to kick in order to attain and maintain a healthy lifestyle. It's not a "diet." I just won't do that anymore. This is a plan. It's a plan for health. Like building a house, I have a blueprint. Like taking a trip, I have a map.
We're in week 5 or 6- I've lost track. I'm eating more normally than I probably ever have since I was 5 years old. I'm working out harder than I ever have in my life. I'm losing weight; my body is changing. But I don't know how much, b/c I don't weigh. I trust LeeAnn, my nutritionist, and Brian, my trainer. They have given me the map; they've given me the directions. Now, I'm trusting that given my map, and given my directions, I'll reach my destination. I don't need to watch the odometer count off each mile.
But it's very weird. I'm totally not used to this. I'm used to weighing every day. Sometimes more than once a day. (insert embarrassed face) But, really, if the scale didn't give me what I thought I should be getting, it would ruin my whole day. And, more often than not, ruin my "diet" too. By not weighing, I'm trusting that the plan works, regardless of what the scale says day to day. Eventually, if I eat normally, if I work out seriously, if I trust my teachers, if I trust MYSELF, I will find a healthy place.
So, that's my journey, this time.
My mom used to tell the story; she said I went from a size 5 to a size 6X in 2 weeks. My dad left for Vietnam and my mom and I went to her hometown to live. There, I learned to numb myself with food. The family decided (with no input from me that I recall) that I must be sad, and they fed me. I WAS sad. But I do not recall asking for loaves of white bread to be thrust in my hands. I do recall watching TV, sitting on the couch, with a loaf of bread in my hands.
I went from chubby little girl to chubby teen.... to obese adult.
I've either dieted or binged since I was 5. I have tried sooooo many diets. I say, "I've tried them all!" I actually worked at 2 of the well-known weight loss places during a brief "almost" phase. I was "almost" at that ideal, magical number... And clearly, "diets" don't work b/c here I am. Obese, again.
And yes, I said "again," not "still." After I got married, I lost 100 pounds. Then, I got pregnant with my first son. And gained about 70 pounds during my pregnancy. I gave birth to a 5 pound child. Seriously.
And lost about 60 of that.... and got pregnant, again. LOL That time, I gained about 55 pounds to give birth to a 7 pound baby. That baby is now 22 years old, and I recently hit my all time high weight. Needless to say, I never lost all that baby weight.
So, the journey began again. This time, I'm working with a nutritionist and a trainer, with a group support system, in a 12-week wellness program. I call it my 12-step program b/c I believe my food issues are an addiction which I have to kick in order to attain and maintain a healthy lifestyle. It's not a "diet." I just won't do that anymore. This is a plan. It's a plan for health. Like building a house, I have a blueprint. Like taking a trip, I have a map.
We're in week 5 or 6- I've lost track. I'm eating more normally than I probably ever have since I was 5 years old. I'm working out harder than I ever have in my life. I'm losing weight; my body is changing. But I don't know how much, b/c I don't weigh. I trust LeeAnn, my nutritionist, and Brian, my trainer. They have given me the map; they've given me the directions. Now, I'm trusting that given my map, and given my directions, I'll reach my destination. I don't need to watch the odometer count off each mile.
But it's very weird. I'm totally not used to this. I'm used to weighing every day. Sometimes more than once a day. (insert embarrassed face) But, really, if the scale didn't give me what I thought I should be getting, it would ruin my whole day. And, more often than not, ruin my "diet" too. By not weighing, I'm trusting that the plan works, regardless of what the scale says day to day. Eventually, if I eat normally, if I work out seriously, if I trust my teachers, if I trust MYSELF, I will find a healthy place.
So, that's my journey, this time.
My final 3 stand!
I can't believe it's been over a month since I last blogged....
sorry....
I'll do better, I promise!
So, tonight is part 1 of the 2 part DWTS final. And who's in??? Hmmmm???? Yep, my final 3 from the first night: Gilles, Melissa and Shawn.
Prediction: Shawn is #3. She's sweet and talented and I love her attitude, but I just don't think she's got the polish and emotion that the other 2 bring.
So, my choice is Gilles. Do I think he'll win? I think it's gonna be a close, close finish. They're both really good. But I love Gilles. He and Cheryl are hot, hot, hot!
We'll see.......
(and remember to check out my gardening blog, too.... link over ------> somewhere.)
sorry....
I'll do better, I promise!
So, tonight is part 1 of the 2 part DWTS final. And who's in??? Hmmmm???? Yep, my final 3 from the first night: Gilles, Melissa and Shawn.
Prediction: Shawn is #3. She's sweet and talented and I love her attitude, but I just don't think she's got the polish and emotion that the other 2 bring.
So, my choice is Gilles. Do I think he'll win? I think it's gonna be a close, close finish. They're both really good. But I love Gilles. He and Cheryl are hot, hot, hot!
We'll see.......
(and remember to check out my gardening blog, too.... link over ------> somewhere.)
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